I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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