I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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