Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
