): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
