i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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