I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
