Midget sex pt 2 tonight
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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