I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Randomize
