I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
