Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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