grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
