I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
