The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
