Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
