You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
