I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
