I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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