I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
