oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
