A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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