hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just found a bag of teeth...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
