I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
