mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize