Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize