I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize