THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
