i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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