is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize