a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
