he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
