well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
