After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize