And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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