Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
