I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
