Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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