Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Buhtt sex?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
