I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
