just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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