what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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