I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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