What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
