I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
