I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
