"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
