If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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