We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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