so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
