There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
