P.S. I can't hear my feet
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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