Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
