What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
i've created a new STD.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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