How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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