if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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