do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
