i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
